Nightmares, bad thoughts, memories of a past that clings to you like glue, I hate it.
Why can’t I stop thinking about such things, why does my head have to replay the scenarios again and again, like a broken record.
I have been pondering why for several years and I still don’t know, maybe it's just me or I am truly cursed, why god, why can’t this end…
All this started a year ago, at the beginning of the year, I broke up with my girlfriend, a friend of mine lost her life, my parents passing away, nothing positive happened, I could not open up to my friends about my emotions and how I truly felt, the ones I was trying to create something new with failed, forced to wear a mask so people could not see the true me, the wreckage I had become, how weak and utterly hopeless I felt, screaming inside for someone to help me but couldn't.
I tried to fade away into just a memory, or worse, a ghost, so people did not have to waste time on a broken thing that was once a human.
Everytime I looked in the mirror, I only saw a man who had scars and wounds all over his body, his eyes longing for something that he could not find and didn't even know what it was, chains tattered to his soul filled with bad memories that he could not break free from, he did not even remember who he was anymore, if that person was worth anything at all.
Unrecognisable by himself, broken, tired, in pain, angry, hateful, sad, can you even call someone like that a man, sounds more like a beast does it not?
An existence I hated but could not bring myself to wish for someone else to feel.
I gave myself reasons not to give in, just to keep myself sane, but carrying such a burden by oneself will eventually make you fall. For if one fights a monster for too long, then one might become a monster, and if you stare too long into an abyss, the abyss might stare back at you, And I truly felt that I was slowly becoming that monster.
I hate my existence, I wish I could disappear…
[[Begin]]
The sunlight rays was lighting up my room through the window, the birds chirping loudly waking me up, being woken up by it, I grunted and opened my eyes, “Another nightmare” I thought to myself when I sat up, my long hair falling over my shoulder, I rubbed my head before I looked to the cigarette package that was resting on the bedside shelf and grabbed it, opening it and saw that there was only one cigarette left “Damn it, going to have to by another pack later.”.
[[Smoke the last cigarette?]]
[[Leave it alone and get up.]]I pulled out the last cigarette and threw the package into a bag filled with trash and empty cigarette packages that was next to the table, I took a box of matches that was laying next to where the package was and lit a match to light the cigarette, inhaling a long drag from it before exhaling the toxic smoke, the rays of the sun illuminating the smoke cloud.
I rubbed my head and inhaled once more as I looked towards the window and watched the rising sun.
It was a small apartment I lived in, decently close to the center of the city where I lived.
It had enough space for two people to live there but since I had no partner, I lived alone.
I worked as a bartender at a nightclub called "Nox".
It was pretty famous and there was always a lot of people during the weekends, and a good salary. The owner of the club was called Alexander Maker, an intresting man, but he was a good boss.
I looked at my phone to see what the time was, it was almost Ten in the morning "Shit, need to get ready before Nicky has my head.."
[[Get ready for the day.]]
"I can probably save it until I go buy some more." I said to myself yawning loudly. I looked over towards the window seeing the suns rays lighting my apartment.
Enjoying the warmth that came from the light.
It was a small apartment I lived in, decently close to the center of the city, it had enough for two people to live there but since I had no partner, I lived alone.
I worked as a bartender at a nightclub called "Nox".
It was pretty famous and there was always a lot of people during the weekends, and a good salary. The owner of the club was called Alexander Maker, an intresting man, but he was a good boss.
I looked at my phone to see what the time was, it was almost Ten in the morning "Shit, need to get ready before Nicky has my head.."
[[Get ready for the day.]]
I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day, a couple of minutes went by and I stepped out of the shower soaking wet.
I looked at myself in the mirror and inspected myself, my hair had gotten long, reaching the middle of my back, my eyes looked more tired and I had gotten skinnier, unsure if it was because I trained or because I did not eat that well, probably both I thought.
I looked over to my right arm where I had started working on a sleeve tattoo “I need to finish this soon..”
It was in the shape of a serpent like dragon with runes on its body that mean different things, protection, hope, life, death, a lot of different ones and then looked at my chest.
There was a huge scar after a car accident several years back, where I lost my closest friend, the scar itself reminded me constantly of that day, then I recalled my dream, the nightmare...
[[The Nightmare.]]
The howls was always the first thing I heard, waking up by a lightpost in the middle of a forest, me getting up and getting ready for the horrors in the dark.
A pack of big black wolves howling and watching me from the treeline, moving like shadows, one with the forest.
I remember trying to run but the further away from the light I got, the darker it became to the point where I could not see.
The only thing shining through the tree branshes and leaves was the moons light, but then I heard running, paws moving quickly after me as I reach a plain with no trees, just grass as the moon shines in all of her glory down upon me, nowhere to go, surrounded by hungry wolves.
The howls grow stronger as the pack charges and attacks, ripping me apart and waking me from my dream.
[[Get ready.]]I shook my head trying not to remember as I got out of the shower and dried myself before getting dressed, I wore light blue jeans with black converse shoes, I wore a black sweater and around my neck I was wearing a necklace that I had been given from my now dead friend, a small crystal in the form of a crecent moon.
On my ring finger I was wearing an family heirloom, a ring with a sword on it and a dragon going around it, it was passed down by my mother, supposedly it came from our ancestor, and from the stories we heard he was a hunter of the supernatural, though I did not really believe that at all, and the ring itself would supposedly protect the wearer from harm.
I set my hair up in a bun and put my long coat on, grabbed my keys and then left.
[[Go to the car.]]I walked down towards the parking lot to my car, an old 1986 black mustang that I had gotten from my father, I got it as a birthday present before he passed away.
I opened it and got in, putting the car key in and started it, the engine started and made a strong growling sound, as I drove out of the parking lot and into the main road towards the mall were I was going to meet up with my friend Nicky.
I picked up my phone while I stopped because of a red light and called her and put her on speaker, she picked up and then said
"Gabe, where the hell are you!?"
I laughed
"I am on my way now, I should be there within a ten minutes."
She replied
"You better, otherwise you owe me food."
I sighed and then smiled
"Alright alright, I will see you soon."
She then said
"Good, I will be waiting by the entrance."
I turned off the call and waited until the green light turned up and started driving again.
[[Arriving at the mall.]]
A couple of minutes later I arrived at the mall, it was one of the biggest shopping malls in the city and had several different shops and food places.
I parked my car inside the malls parking lot, turning my car off and locking it.
I walked over to the moving stairs and walked one, going up.
A couple of seconds went and I had arrived at the first floor, first thing I noticed that were a lot of people, not really surprised though.
I started walking over to the entrance and saw Nicky.
[[Nicky.]]
Nicky was one of my oldest friends, we had known each other since middle school and since then been good friends, she was smart, goofy and loved music, and had a tendancy to do random things just to tease me, appearance wise she was pretty, black shoulder lenght wavy hair with blue colored tips, green eyes, curvy body with a defined figure, a bit shorter then me, she wore a blue sweater that exposed a bit of her shoulder, with black short shorts.
She also had a tattoo on her thigh in the shape of musical notes spiraling around her leg.
I walked over to her, she noticed me and before I could walk over to her she sprinted to me withing seconds and jumped giving me a hug, a barely reacted in time and grabbed her midair.
"Dammit woman, why!?"
She laughed
"You know you like it."
I replied
"Normal hugs are fine, but not the ones who give me whiplash!"
She laughed more
"But normal ones are boring, whiplash ones are fun."
I sighed
"Fine...can you get off me now?"
While holding her, I looking around noticing some people looking at us.
She got off me and smiled.
[[Crack neck.]]
I cracked my neck, creating a couple of cracking sounds before looking at nicky.
"So what are we doing here except giving me whiplash hmm?"
Nicky responded
"Well we haven't seen each other in a while so I was thinking that you can take me on a date."
I raised my eyebrow
"A date? really? And I guess I need to pay for it?"
She smiled playfuly
"Well you're with me so its a given, and also you came late so you're paying for food."
I sighed heavily but then smiled
"Fine, where do you wanna go first then?"
She pondered for a moment and then looked over at a tattoo parlor.
"We should get a couples tattoo!"
I looked at her with "Huh" type of expression.
[[Continue.]]To be continued.
Thanks for playing my short game, it was not really as much as I planned but I hoped you enjoyed the little I made, originally I was planning to make something else but instead choose to make this, [[Moonlight]]